Both Sides of the Coin

It can be a lonely one. My Mom was a SAHM (stay-at-home mom) for both my younger brother and me until we were in middle school. She then went back to work part-time and a few years later went back to the work force full-time. I loved that she was at home with us, and I decided a long time ago that I would do the same for my children so long as we could afford to.

Fortunately my husband and I are able to do just that. We are both college graduates and his career supports our family. We became parents nearly a year ago to an amazing little boy. I love staying at home with him and watching him grow. He is healthy and happy and growing in leaps and bounds. Just the other day he started walking — and he’s not even a year old!

Being a SAHM provides security and forms a bond that can’t be replaced or accurately described. He is our whole world and he has me wrapped around his little finger. My husband is very supportive and is very hard-working, and I admire that he has a career he loves and looks forward to going to work in the morning.

At the same time, I’m jealous. Our son is at the age where he wants to explore everything and doesn’t want to sit still for a moment. This makes running errands or trying to take a break positively impossible. I have even attempted going to lunch with my husband or a friend during the day. With our little boy, such a casual time that should be relaxing is nothing but stressful for me.

I definitely see both sides of being a SAHM, and although my husband says he understands when I rant about how I’ve given up a social life while he still has one, I know he couldn’t possibly understand. I now know how difficult it must have been for my Mom. As a SAHM, I have more respect for other stay-at-home moms than I ever had before.

It’s not an easy job. It is the most difficult thankless job that anybody could ever have, but at the same time it is also the most rewarding. Where else could you have a boss who worships the ground you walk on and needs and loves you unconditionally?

It is also the loneliest job I’ve ever known. Network and meet other moms? Who has the time or opportunity to do that! I find it very unrealistic to have a social life outside of raising a baby while trying to also keep up with the bills, make sure we have clean clothes to wear, and work as an at-home freelance writer.

No, I’m not complaining. I wouldn’t trade this “job” for any other in the world. However, the next time you meet a stay-at-home mom — or stay-at-home dad — don’t roll your eyes at her/him and mumble “Oh…” under your breath as though she/he doesn’t work. (I know what I’m talking about; I get that all the time.) Stay-at-home moms and dads work harder, longer hours than you could ever imagine or tolerate.

The best things in life require sacrifice. I never before imagined that I could feel like I’ve sacrificed so much and feel like I’ve sacrificed nothing all at the same time. Being a SAHM is the most rewarding thing I’ll ever do. Yes, it’s lonely. Yes, I cry. Yes, I miss being close to family (we’re hours apart). Yes, I miss a simple lunch or outing or some form of outlet.

But would I change a thing? Absolutely not.

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